Stephen Colbert Celebrates Jimmy Kimmel’s Return, Roasts Trump Over Escalator Incident, and Weighs in on Free Speech

Stephen Colbert opened The Late Show last night with a big smile, clearly riding the wave of good news for late-night television.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The Late Show. I’m your host, Stephen Colbert,” he began. “Wow, you’re in a good mood tonight. I’m in a good mood too because last night, our friend Jimmy Kimmel returned to TV!”

Colbert congratulated Kimmel on his powerful monologue about free speech and unity, praising his emotional delivery and huge ratings. “It was such a hit that Disney just announced a live-action remake of Gummo and Stitch,” Colbert joked. “And Kimmel’s opening monologue is already smashing records on YouTube — 12 million views in just 12 hours! Congratulations, Jimmy.”

But the night wasn’t just about celebrating a late-night comeback. Colbert turned his attention to free speech controversies elsewhere — including a provocative new statue.

“A statue of Trump and Jeffrey Epstein holding hands appeared on the National Mall yesterday,” he said. “It was a surprisingly well-made piece — though not entirely realistic. Trump couldn’t stand on one leg with those ankles.”

Colbert applauded the National Park Service for granting the artists a permit to display the statue, calling it “a win for free expression.” But early this morning, the U.S. Park Police removed the statue, citing permit violations without explaining what rules had been broken.

“Come on, we all know what rule it broke,” Colbert quipped. “Those National Park signs are clear — ‘Please, no Epstein memorabilia.’”

Then came one of the night’s most viral moments: Colbert roasted Trump over a now-infamous escalator mishap at the United Nations.

“Apparently, the escalator safety mechanism was accidentally triggered by someone in front of Trump, possibly his own cameraman,” Colbert said. “And just like that, down goes the president. Denied!”

Colbert couldn’t resist a jab: “Not to brag, sir, but The Late Show escalators are still working perfectly.”

Trump’s press secretary, Caroline Leavitt, later went on Fox News to reassure viewers that “top minds” — including the Secret Service — were investigating the incident. “Yes, folks,” Colbert joked, “it’s time to bring in the escalator detectives.”

The show also took a sharp political turn as Colbert highlighted Trump’s recent comments about Ukraine, joking that they sounded as if the former president “had been kicked in the head by a horse.” Colbert sarcastically congratulated Joe Biden on his “youthful energy” and called Trump “a thin-skinned man-baby who can’t handle a little laughter.”

Colbert then riffed on Trump’s rumored campaign for a Nobel Peace Prize, poking fun at his claim to have ended multiple wars — including some that no one knew existed. “Apparently, he ended the war between Madagascar and Honduras,” Colbert said. “And the battle for Tatooine, right after Portlandia.”

The host also mocked Trump’s plans for a presidential library in downtown Miami — complete with a luxury hotel and the Boeing 747 gifted from Qatar. “Perfect location,” Colbert said. “Because everyone goes to Miami… to buy books.”

Before wrapping, Colbert touched on a bizarre California news story about a woman charged after her dog allegedly “voted” in two elections. “Which explains why the winner of the 2022 California Senate race was… Chicken on the Floor,” he deadpanned.

Finally, Colbert teased the night’s guests — Senator Chris Murphy and country star Wilson — and promised more science-themed fun later in the show.