Jon Stewart Roasts Fox News for Complaining About ‘Too Many Old White People’ at No Kings Protests: “Make Up Your Mind!”

On this week’s episode of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart took aim at Fox News for its contradictory reactions to the massive “No Kings” protests over the weekend.

The comedian kicked off his monologue by showing clips of House Speaker Mike Johnson labeling the event “a hate-America rally,” and Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent calling participants “the farthest left, the hardest core, the most unhinged” members of the Democratic Party.

“Not the hardest core!” Stewart laughed. “I was ready for partial Marxism, maybe medium-core Marxism — but hardest core? I expected Chuck Schumer rolling up on a flaming guitar like it’s Mad Max!”

He went on: “So, naturally, we all locked ourselves in our bunkers, boarded the windows, muskets in hand, cyanide pills ready — just waiting for the full-force Marxist apocalypse.”

But the chaos Fox News warned about never came. CNN reported that roughly 7 million people joined the nationwide demonstrations, describing them as “largely peaceful” and “often joyful.”

“It was kind of inspiring,” Stewart said. “Seven million Americans — and not a single mass shooting? Incredible. I look forward to Republicans issuing a heartfelt apology for calling these people… what’s the word? Oh right — deplorable!”

Meanwhile, over at Fox, anchors were quick to pivot, dismissing protesters as “silly,” “dumb,” and wearing “absurdist costumes.”

“Make up your mind, Fox,” Stewart fired back. “You said it was going to be a terrifying, pants-shitting revolution — now you’re mad it wasn’t pants-shitting enough?”

Then came the real punchline: Fox commentators complained that the crowds were full of “old white people.”

“Breaking news!” Stewart exclaimed. “‘This country has too many angry old white people,’ says… Fox News? The same Fox News that is basically a retirement home for angry old white people?”

With his signature mix of sarcasm and bite, Stewart closed the segment by exposing the network’s hypocrisy — once again proving why The Daily Show remains one of the sharpest voices in political comedy.